


A Punk Comes Shopping

by Quefish



Series: Ineffable Kinktober 2019 [14]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Art, Aziraphale Has a Penis (Good Omens), Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Praise Kink (Good Omens), Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Fantasy Fishbowls, Hair-pulling, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Kama Sutra, Kinktober 2019, Kissing, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Punk, Roleplay, Shameless Smut, Smut, Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), healthy kink, loving relationship, sexy talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21655276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley dip into the Fantasy Fishbowls. Crowley is challenged to get Aziraphale to sell him a book.Done for the Kinktober Challenge, Day 14: "Punk" ... if you squint.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Ineffable Kinktober 2019 [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1506275
Comments: 48
Kudos: 303
Collections: Top Aziraphale Recs





	A Punk Comes Shopping

**Author's Note:**

> Now with art! Commissioned from Drawlight! Please go show them all the love :)
> 
> [ Tumblr link](https://drawlight.tumblr.com/post/190817039074/a-preview-of-an-illustration-for-quefishs)
> 
> [Twitter Link](https://twitter.com/drawnightlight/status/1228157128902348801)

Punk

_”So what, you want me to bully you into selling a book?”_

_“Well, I’d like to see you try, Demon.” Aziraphale gave a sly look as he put the Fishbowls back on the shelf. “But essentially, yes. Try to ‘Shake me up’, I think is the phrase? One specific book, that I may or may not possess.”_

_“A shakedown, Angel. Ok, which book?”_

_“Well, that would be up to you, my dear. What sort of book would some young punk be coming to a bookshop for? Something for family, I’d assume?”_

_Crowley stopped listening, an idea forming. He stood up and swooped for a kiss as he headed for the door. “Yup, I’m on it, Angel.”_

~~~~~

Crowley stood looking at the bookshop door, feeling silly for just a moment, before remembering how much fun these games are. The first couple minutes were always a little awkward, especially when costuming was involved. He was wearing jeans, heavy T.U.K. boots, a t-shirt, leather jacket, sunglasses, and his hair was styled in little spikes. He wouldn’t have looked out of place on an album cover for The Clash. He went back and forth over putting on an American accent but decided that would feel too silly. He’d been waiting to make sure the bookshop was empty, but also wanted to sneak in before closing, and there went the last customer. He sauntered over to the shop and went inside.

“Hello, how can I … oh. Er.” Aziraphale was not expecting Crowley to start while the shop was actually open, but they did have a rule that even when they were playing with the Fishbowls, reasonable spontaneity was encouraged. He switched gears, looking Crowley up and down with a measure of distrust. “Er, I’m not sure I would be able to help you, sir. Unless you are looking for directions to another shop?”

“Nah, I’m in the right place. Lookin’ for a book.”

“Well, are you sure you’d be finding it here, err?” He raised his eyebrows in the time-honored and recognized way of asking for someone’s name.

“Tony.”

“Tony, thank you. Are you sure I’d have what you are looking for? Many of these are … well, uncommon interests.” He walked to the door and locking it, turned the sign to closed, and pulled down the window covers. “I’d hate to waste your time. It is closing time, as well.”

“Oh, I’m an uncommon interest kind of guy, A-Zee. “ He smirked at the frown that quickly graced the bookseller’s features. “What? S’th’name over the door, innit? A.Z. Fell.” He smirked and started to wander down an aisle. 

“If you must call me anything, I’d prefer Mr Fell." He followed the redhead. "Now, as I said, these are likely not anything you’d be-”

Tony turned quickly, causing him to draw up short. “And I corrected you. _Mr_ Fell. Don’t worry, I’ll know what I’m lookin’ for when I see it. Why don’t you go dust the till or something.” He turned and began walking again, rounding the end of the bookshelf to the next row.

“Now see here, this is **my** shop, and you’ll listen to me.” The shop owner froze before following him again, sputtering. “You wouldn’t know how to find anything anyway, my system is highly complicated.” 

“Yeah, I’m starting to get that impression.” Tony’s voice came from behind him and he spun quickly to face him. “Shouldn’t this be in alphabetical, or grouped by subject or summat?”

“Not that I should need to explain myself to you, but they are arranged in a way that makes sense to me, in order for people to ask me for what they want.”

“Creates a lot of extra work, sounds like. Alright then. I’m looking for a specific book.” Tony took off his sunglasses and slid them into a pocket in his jacket. “I was trying to save you some embarrassment. Still could if you just explain how these are arranged.”

“Embarrassment? Books aren’t embarrassing, Tony.” He huffed impatiently. “Fine, what is the book, and I’ll tell you if I have it.” 

Tony smirked. _Curiosity wins every time, one battle down._

“Nice, glad to see you’re pretending to be a bookseller.” He grinned as the blonde bristled at him. “I don’t remember the title, starts with a K though.”

He gaped at him before laughing. “That’s all you have to go on? We’ll be here all night!”

Tony looked him up and down. “I wouldn’t complain if we were, to be honest, but I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than … _entertain me_ , all night.”

The bookseller looked slightly confused at the beginning of the response, and fully blushing by the end of it. He’d have to be blind to not see how attractive the punk was, but that wasn’t important right now. “Quite right. Can you give me a little more to go on?”

“It’s an instruction manual. Got anything like that?”

The owner looked away, his eyes searching his shop, hoping they’d land on something that would jog his memory. “An instruction manual that begins with ‘K’?” He slowly began walking back to the books, distracted.

Tony smirked. _Distracted. This’ll be easier than I thought._ He watched the bookseller try to figure his puzzle out, surprised when he absentmindedly took off his jacket and hung it on the stand. He heard the soft voice repeating the two clues he had. He moved up behind the blonde again.

The bookseller was lost in thought, challenged. He turned. “My boy, do you know any- Oh! Sorry, I didn’t realize you were so close.” He took a step back. “Do you have any other information about the book? Most of my books are antiques, as you can see. So, if you are looking to fix a car of some kind, you’d be out of luck.”

“Oh, it’s pretty old, couple thousand years, I guess?” He watched the man’s eyes go wide with excitement to find the book. He was truly interested now. _Gotcha._

Mr Fell turned back to his stacks, once again becoming distracted. Tony slid his jacket off, putting it on the stand, following the bookseller quietly, listening to him mutter to himself. Tony affected just the right amount of helpful in his voice. “I remember one of the lessons, if it helps, I can show you?”

The man turned, surprised. “Oh! Well, yes, that would be helpful, I think. Let me get something for you to write with.”

“No need, Mr Fell.” He quickly stepped forward into the bookseller’s personal space and took his face in his hands, tilting it to the side. Tilting his own face opposite, he firmly pressed their lips together. When the soft lips opened in shock, Tony slid his tongue into his mouth, tasting strong tea and vanilla biscuits. He heard a small sound and felt hands coming up to his biceps. 

The kiss had gone on longer than Tony had thought it would, not that he was complaining, the bookseller had tentatively responded by tangling their tongues further and Tony was rather enjoying it. He stood just a few inches closer, allowing his arousal to brush against Mr Fell’s hip. Another sound came out of the bookseller, and Tony felt Mr Fell’s hands squeeze his biceps before gently pushing him. He took a step back and took in the disheveled bookseller’s wide eyes. He grinned brightly. “That was one of the first lessons, called Askew Kiss. I’ve got a few others memorized as well, if it’ll help?”

Mr Fell stood agog. “You came in here, looking for the _Kama Sutra_?!”

Tony theatrically slapped his forehead. “ _That’s_ what it’s called! Yeah, that’s the one. Can I see it? At least then I’ll be able to tell a real bookshop what it looks like so I can buy it.”

Mr Fell sputtered. “What do you mean, ‘A real bookshop’?! This is a real bookshop! Look around you! Books! Look in front of you. Bookseller!” He waved his hands gesturing to the books and then himself. 

“Nah, this’s no bookshop, gotta have stuff for sale to be a shop. And you’re no bookseller. Gotta sell stuff to be that.” Tony gestured, mimicking the blonde bookseller. “This is like the Fight Club of bookshops. The first rule of bookshop is that it’s not a bookshop. Second rule is the same. And the third rule is that if anyone tried to buy something, goes for their wallet, comes to the till, it’s closing time. There’s more, I just can’t remember them.” He shrugged, grinning wickedly at his clever comeback.

“What do you even want such a book for? Have activities become boring at home?” Mr Fell’s blue eyes turned falsely sympathetic and Tony made a face.

“S’none of your business. Maybe I’m just lookin’ for ideas.” Mr Fell’s sympathetic eyes bored into him. “Look, d’you have the book or not?”

“Well, of course I have it! What self-respecting seller of antique and unusual books wouldn’t have a copy of the Kama Sutra?” 

“Great! I’ll take it!” Tony smiled confidently.

“Oh, I didn’t say I was selling it, merely that I had it. A lovely illustrated copy from the Fifth century. Don’t look so put out. I’d be more than happy to bring it out for you to look at.”

Tony let out a heavy sigh. “Fine, like I said, if you can show me, I’ll be able to tell a real bookseller what I’m looking for.” The blonde gave him a very unamused look as he walked away presumably to retrieve the book. Tony watched his hips and bottom move as he did. “Actually, maybe I won’t need to buy it, if I can just come look at yours once in a while.”

“This isn’t a library, young man.”

“It’s not a library, not a bookshop, wot’s it then? Museum?” Tony snickered as the bookseller fumed at him.

“If you’re not more respectful, I’ll teach you a lesson, myself.” He puffed up his chest and his hands balled into fists at his sides.

“From the Kama Sutra? Sounds good, I accept.” Tony began toeing off his boots as the blonde man gaped at him. He had just undone his belt buckle when Mr Fell finally found his voice.

“You can’t _possibly_ be serious?! What on Earth … who even _are_ … Stop taking your clothing off!” Mr Fell’s face had taken on a pink hue and his eyes were wide.

“How else do you plan on teaching me? Easier and more comfortable without clothes.” Tony had dropped his jeans at this point, stepping out of them. 

“You are well aware that is not what I meant, Tony!” The bookseller was enjoying the show despite himself as the wiry redhead pulled his shirt over his head. The only thing left on his body was the tiniest bikini briefs Fell had ever seen.

“Oh, have you never read it?” Tony used the false sympathy look as he stepped into Fell’s space again.

"Of course I’ve read it!”

“Great! Then what’s the problem? I’m a good student.” Tony slid his briefs off and kicked them away. “I’ve got the kisses down pretty well, but I’m happy to demo a few more.”

The bookseller blinked and wondered how this had happened. He’d be lying if he said this man wasn’t incredibly arousing, why not take advantage of the situation? He gave a slow and obvious look down Tony’s body to his feet and back up to his face. “Alright then, impress me, and I’ll decide which lesson you can handle.”

Tony’s eyes lit up, surprised. He reached for the blonde’s tie and buttons, but his hands were smacked away. “I don’t believe I invited you to do that, Tony. I said impress me and I’ll decide what you earn. Unless you don’t believe yourself to be up to the challenge, of course. In which case, I’ll be asking you to leave and find some other booksel-”

Tony slowly touched his tongue to Mr Fell’s lips, drawing a line outlining his bottom lip before gently biting it, and then sucking it into his mouth. He took his time, holding Fell’s face and rubbing his thumbs over his cheeks. He heard a groan as he gave the top lip the same treatment, and felt strong, warm hands glide over his hips to grab his buttocks. He groaned in return and pulled back, grazing his fingers over Fell’s lips as he moved his kisses to other parts of the face and throat. 

The blonde allowed himself to be directed, his head moving at Tony’s whim; he _was_ good at this. By his count, he’d already exhibited four techniques and was starting to incorporate a fifth. He had closed his eyes and felt feather light kisses at the corner of his mouth, and small sucking kisses over his lips to the other corner. “Oh, you are very good, Tony.” He kept his voice lower than even a whisper, and his breath hitched as the man hummed into a sucking kiss, creating a pleasant buzzing sensation over his lips. Tony took the opportunity to reach his tongue to learn the patterns inside the blonde’s mouth, still sucking on his lips. Mr Fell felt as though he was being consumed. He ran his hands over any skin he could reach, before coming back down and pulling Tony’s hips into his own, his fingertips just digging in between his cheeks. 

Tony carefully kissed the bookseller, sounds coming from deep in his chest as he felt fingers deliberately move deeper into the cleft, seeking. Mr Fell’s erection was firmly pressed against his own and his hips began moving, looking for friction, trying to entice. 

The blonde broke the kiss, his nose slowly dragging against Tony’s. “My gracious, you are an excellent student after all, very attentive, and adept at demonstration. Your tongue is simply divine, Tony.” He gripped the back of Tony’s hair. “I believe there is a lesson I would teach you, but it is rather advanced, if you are a brave boy.” 

“Yes, I am. Brave boy, me.” Tony’s declaration would have sounded tougher had he not been panting. 

“Excellent, let’s get you prepared then. Bend over the counter, if you’d be so kind, Tony. Gripping the far edge, legs apart. Wait here.” He left to his back room and retrieved a simple pot of lube and came back to be greeted by the sight of a beautiful bottom and slim legs right next to his antique register. “If this was next to my till more often, I may be willing to sell more books. Now, be good for me, Tony.” 

Fell thoroughly prepared the redhead, enjoying the high whining, and deep panting coming out of him. He kept a steady stream of encouragement, sensing how well it affected Tony, loving how relaxed he was becoming. He prepared him at a leisurely pace, he had mentioned not minding being entertained all night, after all. 

Tony was sure his bones had melted right out of his body, this was way more than he bargained for when he came into the shop. Had he known this would happen, he’d have come in sooner, customers be damned. He knew he was trying to talk, to say anything, to be suave and sexy, but he wasn’t sure it was working. He only knew that if Mr Fell stopped now, he may die. He was insanely good at this, who’d’ve guessed it by the look of him, this stuffy bookseller, being able to play his body like … like something that took skill to play. 

“Stand up, Tony, and come with me.” The words came into his ears, but Tony had no idea how he was supposed to do that without bones. He let out a pitiful whimper that he couldn’t. “Of course you can, I’ll help you of course.” 

He half carried the man to the sofa in his back room and sat him down on a towel he’d placed there. He then stood in front of him and at a measured pace, began taking off his clothing. “Look at me, Tony. That’s good. Watch, see every bit of skin I’m showing you. You’ll feel it all. Warming your back, sliding against your legs, touching your arms.” Tony hadn’t blinked, but he was mindlessly nodding, his mouth was open, and deep groans were rumbling in his chest. “I am going to be deep inside you, taking care of you. Are you ready? I need a little something from you first.” 

Tony came forward on the couch, watching the blonde coming towards him, his eyes staying at hip level where Mr Fell was gripping himself. He automatically opened his mouth, his eyes rolling back and closing as he was called a good boy in that soft voice. He let the blonde move him as he liked, a hand in his hair, pulling him smoothly onto his firm flesh. He groaned again as he heard more words come down, how wonderful his mouth felt, how his tongue reached and stroked perfectly. He would have stayed all night like this if the voice continued. Too soon, his mouth was emptied, and his eyes opened, drooped with lust. 

“So good. Now, your lesson starts.” He sat down on the sofa, his back facing the arm of the sofa, his legs on either side of Tony, and gripped him. Fell laid back, guiding Tony to straddle him, facing away. “Lift your hips a bit, Tony.” 

Tony did as he was told and felt the bookseller gripping his thick shaft and sliding into position. “Take me in, at your comfort, ride down. Oh, that’s very good, keep going, all the way, Tony.” Tony whimpered as he listened, obeying Fell, who had taken his hand away and was now gripping his hips again. 

Fell waited patiently until he was fully seated, and lazily drew his nails down Tony’s back. Not hard enough to leave marks, but to raise goosebumps and send a shiver down his spine. He gave casual pulls on the now unstyled red hair. “You feel amazing, so warm. Perfect. Now, relax.” Fell sat up slightly. and pulled on his biceps. Tony’s back came to Fell’s chest, and strong arms wrapped around him as the blonde laid down again, pulling him on top of him. His head came off Fell’s shoulder, and his temple was kissed as Fell arranged his legs to lay on the outside of the blonde’s. He groaned as his prostate was rubbed and pressed on. 

“No touching that handsome cock of yours, Tony.” Tony shook his head. “So good, lovely, so obedient.” He shifting his hips, thrusting into Tony once to make sure he was firmly lodged. “Oh, I am going to enjoy this so much, you make such delightful sounds, and squeeze me so well.” He grazed his nails over Tony’s chest, circling his nipples, smiling and kissing his neck as the redhead whined. 

Fell brought his hands to Tony’s hips helping him stay balanced on him and began to drive into him strongly, his feet planted on the sofa. Tony was panting and whimpering as Fell rode him from underneath, his eyes shut tight, gripping the hands on his hips. The bookseller kept talking, kissing him, and Tony was sure he was babbling, had gone insane. He had no concept of time, no thoughts that existed outside of their bodies. 

“Tony, touch yourself now, I’m coming soon, want to feel you first.” Fell was panting, groaning and whispering against his ear. He felt his tongue licking his earlobe, tracing the shell of his ear as he began stroking himself. His volume increased and could barely believe his ears when he came. 

“ _Oh my GOD …_ ” He cried out and tears came to his eyes with the force of his climax. He continued stroking himself, gingerly, working through the aftershocks, desperate for every last second of this exquisite feeling. 

Fell chuckled in his ear as his breath stuttered, “Oh my good boy, too good, yes, coming … I’m-” He cut off with a loud growl, gently continuing to thrust, seeking to extend his own joy as well. 

Tony was fairly certain he was going to sleep for days after this. He let out one last sound as Fell pulled out, still kissing his neck and murmuring his happiness. Fell shimmied delicately out from under him, and retrieved a warm cloth to clean him, gently wiping his face, his chest, down to his sensitive groin, and then down between his buttocks. He brought Tony a glass of water and carded his fingers through his hair, unhurriedly bringing him back to the real world. 

“Wha’ elss s’in tha book?” He slurred, sleepily. 

“Oh, so much more, my dear boy. I’m more than happy to tutor you again, if you are interested. I found that to be sublime.” Tony nodded enthusiastically. “So, are you interested in knowing what this position is called? It goes rather well with your exclamation, Tony.” 

The redhead looked up, confused. “Exclamation?” 

“Well, you called out for God, implying that you were in Heaven … which is appropriate considering I just, well, _took you_ through the Pearly Gates position.” The bookseller wiggled, looking rather pleased with himself, smirking in a teasing manner. 

“You wot?! Are you joking? There’s a position called Pearly Gates?” His eyes closed again with a groan. “So, can I buy the book? Study and come back?” He opened his eyes slightly, looking up at the blonde, hopefully. 

“Not a chance, how else will I be able to surprise you when you come back?” Fell chuckled. 

Crowley’s eyes flew open and he leaned up on his elbows. “Damn it, Aziraphale, are you kidding me! I earned it!” 

Aziraphale laughed and kissed his demon’s indignant scowl. “I love you dearly, Crowley, but you would have had a better chance at an Oscar Wilde than a fifth century illustrated Kama Sutra … one that I restored myself.” Crowley grumbled and allowed himself to be kissed. “Of course, I wouldn’t be opposed to looking through it with you, I actually think I’d like to work our way through the entire book, if you’d be amenable.” 

“I think you could convince me, Angel.” 

“Wonderful … now, perhaps a short nap before I begin my morning routine? It’ll be dawn in just a few hours.” 

“I … you … wait, what? I got here at like five o’clock!” Crowley looked at the clock on Aziraphale’s desk. 

“As though I’d rush through our first Kama Sutra experience? That sort of thing is to be savored. As are you, my dear. Delectable, my demon is. Now, come to bed” 

Crowley blushed and allowed himself to be pulled upstairs for a nap. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please comment, it makes my day, truly! :)
> 
> Yep, I'm still working through Kinktober. I love these prompts too much to give up! Thank you for indulging me :)
> 
> Art by Drawlight! Good Lord, please go visit them and give them some love!  
> [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/drawnightlight)  
> [Tumblr](https://drawlight.tumblr.com/)  
> 


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